Poetry by David L O’Nan : Where Do I Leave?

Tunnel, Light

Where Do I Leave?

I met you in the death to skin fires In sticky pits full of fallen stars A dark red-curtained nauseous room with the moonlit hissing Your room is a dying egg shell white bleeding angel artwork, the Mona Lisa convulses off the walls. You broke my eggs to the Dirty Three the yolk is a permanent black crisping to wet dirty cement, Breathing up from the ground To paralyze me to this memory Pause, run, running I feel homeless Fainting to your lectures You fed me pills and secrets You harshly took my heart out, and drained it like a sponge. I have to escape this, I have to escape this, I have to escape this, These claws that grip I have to escape this, I have to keep running from this, I have to escape this, So fast from the macabre The claws that rip The hands of knives want to purge me into the holes, To fall in, and smell the sourness of a body That sweats away the alcohol That dances out all her dirty arrogance. The few that swim out The feeling I have to swim out I’ve got to swim out, This drowning, This drowning, Is closing in, I’m forever changed by your tattooing Left me in tears Leave me scared Leave me feeling sick and departed From my mind Leave me blushing in with fevers and leave in a hypnotic taboo. I drove away When you didn’t want me to I drove away Because I had to I drove away From this Kentucky Mountain Medusa In an alcoholic veil Mentally bruising Mentally washed Mentally forever wondering Mentally i’m ashamed When you were the one drawing all of the lines. In my car I try to scream But I can’t In my car I try to breathe But I can’t In my car I drive faster than the speed I drive into the black hole eyes of the road. Like chaos in the melting snow and the violins play louder “I Knew it Would Come to This” Again Paralyzed when the sky blackened The road feels like a lost tunnel with these, dim lights.

Current bio for Fevers of the Mind’s David L O’Nan editor/writing contributor to blog.

Available Now: Before I Turn Into Gold Inspired by Leonard Cohen Anthology by David L O’Nan & Contributors w/art by Geoffrey Wren

Bending Rivers: The Poetry & Stories of David L O’Nan out now!

A Poetry Showcase for John Zurn August 2022

From Pixabay

Rising from the Ashes

Streaking down through fiery clouds,
the lightning bolt of mind
crashes through the sea of doubt
with wild and frantic cries.
But from the terror of this death,
the mind may soon ascend
and glimpse upon the heavens
to absorb the light again.


Make Believe

The magic world of make-believe
is meant for only children.
When grown-ups try to do the same,
they live a life of torment.
So we write our inner thoughts
in special cardboard journals.
No one cares about the words-
our rhyme of black and purple.


Delusions

Delusions were a way to live
that always served a purpose.
Subjective like a vision,
they always felt so certain.
But now I know the terror
of such a strange ordeal.
Luckily this error
no longer has appeal.

Caustic Brain

This caustic brain breeds chemicals
that taint my thoughts and feelings.
They reek and stifle constantly
and blister moods and reason.
My genes resemble poison jello,
so neurons pause and even stop.
But even if the waves are stalling,
the Blessed Spirit overcomes.


Short third person bio:
John Zurn has been faced with the challenges of bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder for his entire adult life.  Over the years he gradually learned that: medication, physical exercise, meditation and creative writing were vital for his long term recovery. Despite this challenge, he still managed to work as a teacher and counselor for over thirty-five years. Now retired, he has more time to write and publish poems and stories. 


Other links: Poetry Showcase for John Zurn




Poetry about Mental Health from Maria A. Arana

photo from Denny Muller on Unsplash.com

Window in the Dark

i walk past your slumber
catch a glimpse of your sleep
 
you toss to break away
doors to this dark room
 
night teachings of fear
i reach the doorknob and find gum
 
my fist connects with the window
shattering the glass into shards
 
i climb out
find a light switch
 
but shadows weave in
and grab hold of it
 
darkness reminds 
my hands bleed

i push myself back
past your bed
 
the pace changed my feet
now stuck on shoe glue
 
but your slumber resists
stays undisturbed
 
my cold breath screams out
our bedroom locks us in full retreat
 
while wind chimes whisk tunes unchanged
until my eyelids open


Spider's Mess

cobwebs overhead
tell nothing of what’s ahead
            fountains of blood
            mountains of flesh
inside this room
 
cobwebs hang icicles
tell nothing of what’s to come
            water falls like knives
            fire burns holes
inside my heart
and there you wait

This is what Faded Love Looks Like

we both knew 
this would happen
 
tell me you love me
tell me you care
 
then the times
when you don’t remember 
the last ache could spill over 
 
tell me it’s okay
tell me we’re through
 
playing games on the front lawn
where our soaked feet kiss the dawn
and memories still find their way home


Bio: Maria A. Arana is a teacher, writer, poet, and editor. Her poetry has been published in various journals including Spectrum, The Gonzo Press, and The Kleksograph. You can find her at https://twitter.com/m_a_Arana and https://aranaeditingservices.com

2009: A Recovery From Her Spiderweb by David L O’Nan

2009 A Recovery From Her Spiderweb

It had been 10 years 
A cold February Kentucky wind
Through a panic call
I guess united by fears
Silence, on a dark night drive
Clarity, lost through the wires
Arrivals to the death of Indigo.

A foolish man falls prey
To a Jekyll and Hyde constellation
Her screams, her pills, her knives & blades threatening
I have to be bare like the roses
Or else,
And now throw me to the pond,
Leave me a fish wanting to die.
In obscurity, floating with a manic dead mind.

You tried to weaken me, with words, with threats
Used me,
Driven me away to a trail of trauma
Like a long walk into a viewless forest.
Planted seeds of fire to my heart.

Trust comes on like impulsivity now
In a fright,
For what is real
And what is a monster with soft skin
I blister to my hands from a false touch.

That spreads like a virus. 

Current bio for Fevers of the Mind’s David L O’Nan editor/writing contributor to blog. 

Hard Rain Poetry: Forever Dylan Anthology available today! 

Bare Bones Writings Issue 1 is out on Paperback and Kindle

Available Now: Before I Turn Into Gold Inspired by Leonard Cohen Anthology by David L O’Nan & Contributors w/art by Geoffrey Wren

Bending Rivers: The Poetry & Stories of David L O’Nan out now! 

New poem by Lily Maureen O’Nan

Untitled

Cough, cough.
Where did the light go,
Or what,
Does it really do,
For a mind on chaos,
Drugs?
You said to me,
"Don't go sideways,"
But I slid.
I fell, I stumbled.
Fuck our little, 
Bubble.
Polarized images seek,
To create a society,
Of death,
A culture of depravity.
All I'm left with,
Is thought,
And perceptual discord.


*a poem about psychiatric medication and relapse*

Lily Maureen O'Nan is a non-binary transfeminine, (they/she) writer and psychology major working towards becoming a disability rights activist in the process.  Lily is the sister of editor of site David L O'Nan. 

New Poetry book “Cracked Around the Edges” from Lily Maureen O’Nan (info from Lulu site) 

Poetry from David L O’Nan in the Famous Poetry Outlaws are Painting Walls and Whispers