photo by Javardh (unsplash)
I Try to Think CW: Institutional Abuse I cannot hold my fork without dropping it five times and five more times again. I cannot walk but I can feel. I cannot talk but I can scream. Now, I have been put out of the way to teach me how to behave in the right way. But you, your hands so gentle, your smile so sweet, take my wheelchair out of the cold, welcome me back into the warm. When confusion explodes in my head like fireworks in the sky, I try to think I know that you are right to say, kindness is the only way. Even when the others say that they have more experience than you, that they know best, that you do not know how to do things in the right way. They tell you it must not happen again, you behave in such a way that is too soft, you must remember, the rules must be obeyed. I try to think I know that you are right because my legs do so hurt so very much You, Stay Calm! CW: Institutional abuse I can’t do the things as quickly as you want me to do them. When you get upset, I get upset. I can’t explain to you how I feel, I can’t explain anything at all, so, I have to show you by what I do. I don’t want to throw food across the table, pull your hair hard or scratch your cheek. I want you to see me and what I need. Your voice is very loud, I see you are even more upset and so am I. Now, two people are needed to calm me down. I have to come to this establishment because I have some special needs. Why can’t you just give me the space and time I need to finish what you want me to do? The Knife One sentence, like a slim, fine knife, double-edged, sharp, to cut you dead. Slips easily to the centre of the heart. The Flower Seller at Piccadilly Circus by Doryn Herbst (c/w: War) Bio: Doryn Herbst, formerly a scientist in the water industry, Wales, now lives in Germany and is a deputy local councillor. Her writing considers the natural world but also themes which address social issues. She is putting together a pamphlet-sized series about violence in its many facets. Doryn has poetry in Fahmidan Journal, CERASUS Magazine, Sledgehammer Literary Journal and more, plus work forthcoming in Fenland Poetry Journal, Re-side Zine and The Dawntreader. She is a reviewer at Consilience science poetry journal. A Poetry Showcase for Doryn Herbst
Fevers of the Mind 
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