Chronicles of an 80’s Childhood In Segments (of Magic & Misery in Thoughts & Recollections (not based on my life)
1. The Paint chipping in the corners As rain eats through the roof Just to die slowly and innocent in threads of carpet In between insults to my mother, A dad peels at the windowpane Removing windblown leaves, perhaps maple 2. Hugged into the affection of butterflies, Springtime warmth gives you hope, away from home Sips of Coca-Cola from the drug store tap We chase the bouncing rainbows, In the fields of an everlasting breeze Kids shouldn't walk like Van Gogh, Like at home Evading humanity Living brisk and trying to take all the art as yours To live in your own world. 3. So, we sequestered ourselves To the shadow feelings that linger under beds Overseeing hallway lights Hear the yells mash against the walls, Leaving bruises, Abandoned hauntings Wishing back to Summer prairies in damp sunlight Bicycle races without winners Ponds that smelled like frogs and sewage. 4. We hear the breaking of heartbeats Boredom of fictitious harmony Hisses of air circulating in the stomach, our water pipes A whirring sound of discomfort We see a melting slime moon Drip gelatinous from the coven of night. 5. In the cold, oh so cold The skin of my lips Little semicolon shapes, so sore The kitchen smells of chicken soup broth & rotten mistletoe Clashing smells of irony Hear the voices now? Wicked wind breath? 6. We reached the apex of a "good day" A bit of sunlight Family laughter Then the mix of chemicals and weather A new thunderstorm hides To make broken paperdolls in the closet Tears like rain Belt buckle whips like a popping of dynamite To innocent ears. 7. As we are dreamers We orient ourselves in situations From love to nightmares Trying to convert the life in the middle as normalcy Then you looked to the clouds They are shaped like bears and spiders Uneven we are, Much like when the sunlight blades hit the Earth. 8. Sunburned hands, Feels like razor blade cuts on my palms We ride on the bikes Bleeding and all with dirt canvas masterpieces as faces Freckled and demure Kicks to bend in the oil cans, And still we are doing somersaults - Across the sharp lawns of grass. 9. After hours, Once asleep He comes home after intermingling With the other sheet metal workers That smell of perfume We jump off beds for a hug in our cartoony pajamas We find ourselves instead Heading to bus stops, To get Taco Bell - handled by old maids with band aid hands We have left. 10. Life in the 90's (her life) In Small cities everywhere there are delusional Kerouacs and ladies with reptilian tongues So now we are in seclusion Splitting bullets in separations A crimson evening gown from 4 sizes ago - resting in a closet, By hidden money Suffocated in a dry cleaning bag The dress could not be sold, No departing The memories of a happier time Left cobwebs of a family No parties with friends, No dance to be danced Her home behind the train tracks Spooky whistles every night She lay in darkness Lost minutes to this breathless curse Fainthearted when putting on make-up To the grocery store down the street. She'll stumble over the gravel in her boots Miles back you hear the train hit the brakes While she stares at the stars that look murdered. Running home with torn grocery bags Cries out to the weaving halos Agoraphobia in Eden. Saved After the Fear I was born to this rusty cage On a midnight to morning rush, I'm saved I've climbed the ladder to heaven's ceiling and when I was there, I saw his face Calling me to be brave, in a whisper Everything before this moment, a deep lie And I want to find you now that I know I want everyone know that I am saved You just want to keep me locked away Walking with the floods I believed in everything, I believed in you I called you my destiny, my gorgeous mural I wanted you more than I wanted to live and here you are, sitting in wires Feeling as empty as a black hole, a darkest blue I dream, you won in the end of the shade You are the one changed, all disgrace Do you still have one thought of me? Am I anywhere in that puzzled mind? I'm sorry I was selfish, I'm just trying to release the fear. That i'll never see your face again, my visions of a cold cemetery wind A kiss that's faded, Expressions stuck to the breeze stuck like a ghost hovering in every memory. Let me sail with your eyes, I want to see the world free like you I want to move on, Saint or Sin Forget that constant feeling, of touching you again. Can I be saved, Can I feel saved, or am I teasing myself. Alarm Clock to God One morning I wake up and now I believe in God Sincerity was mixed with the rest of the oils of life. Laughter, other medicines challenging the miracles of our mind Your sad eyes will look to heaven now Channeling spirits, shaking with the Angelic freeze, That streams down with his light Maybe you've conquered the dying last days of loved ones. Maybe you have an answer for the clue monkeys Who paraded your mind with questions? From real to fiction to unreal to some alcoholic tales Who do you choose to believe? Your theory has always been the most basic He only appears as the result of devastation You turn to prayer in desperation Out of selfishness, not of understanding 2 or 3 years tangled together and feeling lost You use greed as your crutch Sunshine, starlight, universal splendor, he's the right The truth behind the serum That we help mould through his eyes Images, We are actors in a play Painting pictures that form realism Acknowledged fully when posthumous 5:00 a.m. Warm mornings in June You believe in God Don't snooze 'til 6 a.m. Ladybug Ladybug I must look black and blue to you All my dots are sunken in so deep My skin is stretched aging as my soul life on a train Moving through the dust escaping the freedom of flowers to live in a can of rust There are millions of bumblebees out there And they talk me into a stinging I'll fall victim after their longing stare My legs will fail, my knees crippling into weakness So, ladybug I'm sorry too That I never had a chance to say That your beauty is a glowing urn Ashes of memories collected during our spiraling fall feeling naked, brushed me off into the waters I think of your smile My mind is in love, My heart is in pain Accepted you as a target I was the one shot down The winter breeze threatened our wings peeled off as frost hitting the skin We flew straight into the mouth of the chill Fighting till the bitter end. Truck Stops Named Truck Stop From truck stops to truck stops Dirty flannel truck driver cowboys Drunkards battle the demons of the road and the rejections of impregnated women They wanted more - than a quick time chaw tongue kissing and cuddles His rebel flag tattoo fading like his smoke damaged eyes Off to another truck stop Another Betty Franklin, or a Norma Davies Off to another plate of bacon, biscuits & gravy disasters A silhouette of negligent phantoms As open slurs with wet ink drips down restroom walls. As Love is Crucial As love is crucial Your materials and drawn on smiles are not my motivation Let's be real people I'm not ashamed of my passions, Nor do I feel weakness in my tears The world still turns in your choosing In artificial armor, Or in legitimate beauty What do your eyes see? Through the fog What do your eyes see? The Same In your arms I've died a million deaths The death called love The same flowing blood from two sacred hearts The blood is unity, of love That uncomfortable juice, that mythical feeling. Eternal Feels I live in poetry through eternal feels As they buried my father after the ills infected As madness moments click me to panic walks As I look into my beautiful wife's eyes As I held my infant son and daughter for the first time As I sit on a sidewalk in prayer on a cold night, a moon impeding.