A torment of self she was.
Writhing in agony.
Herself she couldn’t bear,
Self perceived waste of air.
She screamed out through the night,
No one there to hear.
Slowly dying inside with,
Nothing left to lose or gain.
Only self hatred,
Suicide; was decided,
She couldn’t be saved.
Made up mind she ran,
To the window that protected her.
The glass shattered.
As she jumped through the panes,
Tiny shards got stuck in her eyes.
Some sliced open her veins.
Falling through the night, paralyzed,
Free fall companions were blood and glass.
From thirty-seven stories high,
Her thoughts raced with adrenaline.
Higher than I’d ever made her.
Maybe that was why.
Death comes to all.
She’s just another statistic now.
A fading memory for the ones,
She decided should be left behind.
As she smashed into the ground,
The collision with pavement..at terminal velocity,
Broke her heart upon impact;
as well as broke mine.
She escaped this world,
Ran from herself.
Jumped from the love, In which we were bound.
You’re the flame that burns my candle.
Because the wind will
I wont ever put you out,
as long as you’re here.
Your wax drips from me,
As the days go on.
You’re my every thought,
my every feel,
I need you.
You light my way,
in this dark bitter world;
And my heart can’t bear to be alone.
The pain I cause,
Only tears you farther away..
I’m sorry im not the one,
you once thought i was.
I can’t help who I am,
But please don’t ever stray.
I hate myself so much,
for everything I’ve done.
Your crystalline tears,
Spill the same as my blood.
Every time you shed them,
I die inside all over again.
I can’t handle the pain anymore;
I can’t handle the numbness,
what keeps me going,
beats only in your chest.
My thoughts run dry,
as well as my veins.
I can’t keep thinking, because,
my fear is taking over;
Your words ring out,
drowning me in melancholy.
My sorrow takes flight.
I can’t cut them out enough,
nor let my feelings roll off my tongue,
at least not the right way.
You’re just everything to me.
I’m a mess, and always will be.
But I need you to become forever,
you’re my only future.
I just wish “I love you,”
was really enough.
You walked into my heart, unexpectedly.
Even locked, you had a key.
The blackout was sudden, every light in the room
Suffered a shattered bulb, yet,
Everything was illuminated
By the glow you cast.
Emanating like I would perceive,
A holy Angel to bear.
Wavering only with your lungs.
Waxing and waning, oxygen breathed,
The air allowing your animation.
Such a miracle we could share in it.
My paramour, your beauty is not an essence,
Words can do justice to.
If there are such words, I’ll never know them.
Awestruck, yet I remain,
As you still exist here with me.
In shared time, vastness all around us.
But you chose me,
Even as undeserving I was of you.
For every reason we experience,
Through each we create our path.
Each happens unknowingly, only making sense later.
I’ll never understand why I was chosen,
Or why you embraced me.
You’re too breathtaking, too pure.
Your innocence contrasts my sins.
Your allure began to break the walls,
The floor slowly decided to give way.
Yet we still danced inside my heart.
The broken glass lacerated our bare feet.
We shuffled in each other’s blood,
Mixing it together, impossible to separate.
Your song will never cease, my love,
Not that I want it to, It’s enchanting.
Even as we bled out together,
Waltzing while the walls crumbled around us,
Your glow still didn’t falter,
Though your wings were a flutter.
I had hoped to hold on to you,
But my hands failed to grasp.
My loss of blood took my strength away,
And I plunged into the darkness alone.
At least I know, when the structure collapsed,
You flew to safety, but not too far.
Your light is so bright I can still make my way around,
As I stumble through what’s left
Of the debris of my home.
photo by Issy Bailey